unconditional

sometimes in life we make mistakes, huge mistakes. ones we find hard to forgive ourselves for.

and if we're lucky enough. we find someone that loves us so much, they find it in themselves to forgive us.

it makes it easier to forgive ourselves. that is what unconditional love means. that is what you should hold on to, it's what forever means. lets not make anymore mistakes.

we're going to get you home. and we will watch forever rise over the horizon, together, inseperable.

i told you that you mean the world to me, what i meant was... the world means you.

"Take away love, and our earth is a tomb."
--Robert Browning

I am nothing. All I am is one of many, that has no real commitment to being a bench warmer in a game I like to call Being. I am not a human being, I am a human distraction. I take away from what gives hope, because I am now, and forever may be hopeless.

Faith?

Are you fucking kidding me? Do you not see the world around you? What is there to be faithful in? That bitch faith has been standing on street corners for the last one hundred years. She is in the bedroom with Destiny giving hand jobs to a malformed system of degenerate fuck offs that like to call themselves human beings, when you and I both know that they're nothing but a giant pile of feces that I step in on my walk down the valley of death.

I've cried enough tears to freeze a million icebergs to thwart the evolution of global warming.

I was the last truth. I was the only pure. I am now, and forever a lost cause. I could see where I wanted to go, I had it, it was in my hands, I grabbed it, reached out to it, touched it, groped it, hugged it, fucked it-- I felt it.

Now I can't see the hands in front of my face, I can no longer feel the tears running down my cheek, or exhale the breath that is trapped inside my lungs.

I am now, and forever nothing.

"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."
--Mignon McLaughlin

Let's put the name behind the face,
She called me daddy, then had her memory erased.




I lived the life of Joel Barish.

Well, sorta. Now I'm labeled an "Adulterist." Does this totally nullify my vengeful as being remorseful? Does the lord care? Did I dare deny myself the passage through the pearly gates?

^^ Here. I was happy. I was high, but I was happy. I was lonely, but I was smiling. Better than being lonely and sad, right? Right?!

It's crazy, how in a moment, she was gone forever. No word spoken, just vanished like a new moon. I don't want to face love again; not in the foreseeable future, atleast.

If I wrote a book about my life, it would take a whole 25 years, 3 months, 9 days and 12 plus hours to read it. I wouldn't miss a moment. I can't remember every nook and cranny of my life, but I'd sure have a way of filling in the blanks with thrilling mishaps and suspenseful punch-lines.

I know when I feel my writing because I always end up in a puddle full of tears. If I could, I would cut my own heart out just to stop myself from looking for something that cannot be found.

She called me daddy.
I am the god of hopeless faith, in something that cannot be found.

I don't call me blogging. Would you?

It's so much easier when your not caught up in the cliquey lifestyle of a blogist. When you don't care about comments or how many people view your site.

But I will fall, I always do.

I am the god of hopeless faith, I fall, I fall hard, flat on my face.
She called me daddy, then had her memory erased.

I have physical scars that may never heal. I might as well tattooed myself with the names of everybody I ever loved, and thought loved me the same. For what is love, but the backwards evolution of a human soul. Souls that are suppose to flower, blossom and bloom alone.

Why must we put them together in a world where eyes are no longer the gateways to our souls, but rather a passageway to the bullshit that spews from every orifice in our body that can express emotions?

I must go now, for I fear I have said too much. As now my book would take 25 years, 3 months, 9 days and13 hours to read.

Love,
Curt "Daddy" Dawg.